Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Asserting My Suidae Rights


It's been three weeks, two days, six hours and fifty-eight minutes since I moved from Salt Lake City, Utah to Austin, Texas- (those of you who know "Pushing Daisies" will appreciate that fastidiously precise description of time elapsed)...

Since the move my life has consisted primarily of unpacking boxes, battling cockroaches (one of which was proudly perched on on my toothbrush one night *shudders with pure revulsion and disgust*) and hiding from the 107 degree heat (plus 4000 percent humidity) in the cool dark of my apartment. Needless to say, my existence has been reduced to a most demoralizing low. Since I recently graduated college, this will be the first autumn in the last five which will not require new textbooks, new highlighters and new notebooks...and it's killing me. School was my life and now I got no food, I got no job and, if I had any, I'm sure my pets' heads would be falling off right about now. I've heard that the first year or two after graduation can rapidly deteriorate into a profoundly depressing time- at least for those of us who are self-proclaimed nerds- and it appears that the Train of Purposelessness upon which I am riding high is right on schedule to arrive in UtterDespairVille before the year is out.

Ah, wallowing- I reserve my unconditional right to entertain you for as long as I damn well please.


A Cache of (Nerdly) Jewels!


As a fervent nerd, I have a secret love of collective nouns...here are some splendidly ridiculous ones:

1. An implausibility of gnus
2. A murmuration of starlings
3. A rabble of butterflies
4. A nuisance of cats
5. A cartload of chimpanzees
6. A piteousness of doves
7. A business of ferrets
8. A prickle of hedgehogs
9. A bloat of hippopotomi
10. A smack of jellyfish
11. A parliament of owls
12. An ostentation of peacocks
13. A deceit of lapwings
14. A rhumba of rattlesnakes
15. An unkindness of ravens
16. A storytelling of rooks
17. A shiver of sharks
18. An ambush of tigers
19. A sneak of weasels
20. A plump of wildfowl